To realize the inevitability of parting and the complete uncertainty of the future is a difficult test. The feeling that his own life slips out of the hands, gives rise to a feeling of deep anxiety. About how to survive this painful moment of waiting for the end, the clinical psychologist Suzanne Lahman thinks.
When the relationship ends, everything that once seemed well known and obvious loses all clarity. The gaping emptiness that the gap forms requires filling and makes us feverishly look for the causes and justification of what happened – so we are trying to at least partially cope with uncertainty.
Loss, the scale of which is sometimes difficult to imagine, knocks out of the rut and causes severe discomfort. We feel fear and despair. This feeling of vacuum is so unbearable that
we have no choice but to look for at least some meaning in what is happening.
However, the void is so huge that no explanation will be enough to fill it out. And no matter how much distracting actions we come up with, the burden that we have to drag will remain unbearable.
In a situation, the outcome of which we are not able to control, the expectation of the moment when we can exhale and feel better or return with a partner to the original state, is perceived almost as a matter of life and death. We are waiting for the sentencing – only it will determine what is happening or was happening between us. and finally feel relieved.